Parents speak of preciousness of their child’s short life at local Vigil for the March for Life event

As thousands gathered in Washington to hear politicians, bishops, and at least one surfer speak against abortion at the national March for Life, a smaller crowd gathered in Tonawanda also to hear from pro-life advocates.

St. Christopher Parish hosted a vigil Mass on Jan. 23 for the annual March for Life in lieu of a diocesan trip to Washington. Bishop Michael W. Fisher was joined by Father Peter Karalus, Father Michael LaMarca, Father Ronald Sajdak, Deacon Michael Ficorilli, Deacon Ken Monaco and Deacon John Steiner at the altar.

“It’s good that we come together as we cherish the lives of those who are vulnerable in our society; that we cherish our lives and the gift of life that God has given to us. When we think of life we think certainly that all life is precious. We cherish it and also care for it and we also nurture it,” Bishop Fisher said in welcoming the congregation on a cold and snowy evening.

Guest speakers Lexi and Josh Matam shared how they learned the value of life through their daughter, Chiara. 

“God has blessed us with four children,” Lexi Matam began. “Three of them are in heaven and the little one here today. She turned nine months old yesterday. Today we’re going to tell you about her siblings.”

The couple lost their first child through a missed miscarriage. That’s when the baby stops developing before 20 weeks. Their baby’s heart stopped beating without any other symptoms. 

While mourning the loss, a friend gave her a book on Chiara Corbella Petrillo, an Italian servant of God, that told the story of heroic motherhood. A faithful Catholic, Petrillo chose to give birth to her first two children despite knowing they would have medical difficulties. She chose to forgo her own medical treatments while pregnant with her third child.

The Matams agreed that if they ever had a daughter, they would name her Chiara.

A second child was miscarried the day after Lexi’s pregnancy was confirmed. 

“The sorrow and mourning so quickly followed the elation of expecting another baby,” said Lexi. “It was shocking and heartbreaking and overwhelming.”

In April 2022, she learned she was pregnant again. Each week brought a sense of comfort as the pregnancy has progressed further than the others. 

At 20 weeks, the Matams went for an anatomy scan. Their baby girl looked well, but they saw a lot of black space in the scan of her head. The baby, who they named Chiara, was diagnosed with hydrocephalus – too much cerebrospinal fluid built up in or around the brain.

The initial high risk doctor on call told them not to worry. “That gave us some relief,” Lexi said.

She and Josh bought some clothes and pacifiers to prepare an announcement, but kept the diagnosis a secret. 

Her doctor later told them their daughter had a problem with her brain. She would never walk, talk or eat properly. She would not live very long.

“I don’t remember how she asked, but she asked if we were going to have an abortion,” Lexi said.

The doctor told them an abortion would be the “merciful thing to do,” as Chiara would suffer so much.

“What the doctor failed to understand was that our child was a gift and we understood that. She failed to see her dignity despite her potential disabilities, and she thought killing our unborn baby would make our lives easier,” Lexi explained.

They found a neurosurgeon who thought placing a shunt in her brain could relieve the pressure. Though she did expect disabilities, she did not give Chiara a death sentence.

Chiara was born Nov. 21, 2022, at Oishei Children’s Hospital. She had surgery just hours after birth.

“Our days were filled with difficult decisions with everyone involved in Chiara’s care. But in the quiet moments, we were able to love and cherish our little baby,” Josh said. “To say how we felt when we were holding her hand, cuddling her, or even smelling her is so difficult to describe. We had the gift of knowing and loving one of the most beautiful souls ever to be created. And we are so honored and thankful to be her parents.”

Like parents should, they did their best to care for their child. A photo presentation showed the two proud and happy parents with their daughter in Oishei Hospital.

At just 25 days old, Chiara was taken off life support. Lexie and Josh spent the next five hours praying “Jesus, we trust in You.”

“Our Chiara never belonged to us. She was a visitor from heaven. This is what the priest who prayed over her in her final hours called her,” Lexie said. Borrowing a quote from Chiara Corbella Petrillo whose son had no legs, she said, “God had need of her like this.”

Father LaMarca, pastor of the Roman Catholic Community of the Tonawandas, spoke about his introduction to the annual March for Life protest against abortion.   

He heard about the march while attending seminary. He considers himself a quiet supporter of Social Justice issues. It was a fellow seminarian that encouraged Father LaMarca to attend by telling him about his own experience at the march. 

“That helped me make up my mind that I wanted to make the trip,” Father LaMarca said.

He describes the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, where Mass is held, as being packed shoulder-to-shoulder from basement to loft. The opening procession took 45 minutes.

“It’s an incredible witness to be there and to witness everyone there praying – praying for life, praying for our nation.”

The march itself has tens of thousands there to give witness.

“For me, and I’m sure for those of you who have made the pilgrimage, it started with that one on one encounter of being given the witness to life and the invitation to join them.”

According to that day’s Gospel, Jesus developed a large following due to one-on-one encounters.

“People came, they saw, and they went back and they gave testimony. And the numbers grew. That’s evangelization. Evangelization for us should be going out into the world and giving our witness to the Gospel, sharing our relationship with God, so that one by one others want to have that same relationship,” he said.